Dear Asshole
You are not cut to be a leader. You always deny when I introduce you as a “boss”, but you know what the truth is, you are one. You don’t have the slightest hint on how to be a leader. You have never been in a position where you need to lead people 5–20 years older than you. You never knew how to gain respect first before approval. You are exploiting your authority to tell us around. Strip off your fancy corporate title, do you think we will still respect you?
You dont even have empathy nor side with your own team!
Motherfucker.
How can you feel entitled to lead if you don’t even care? You ask questions to judge us. Every “How are you?” is an attempt to squeeze out information regarding to our shortcomings. I was a fool to trust you.
I came from leading > 10 people, 2 teams, over a year. I know trust is the key building block to a cohesive team. Your team should be free to talk and consult to you without feeling anxious that what they say will be used against them. Your team must never feel like their leader has betrayed them. You know why? Because THAT’S WHAT A LEADER IS.
Yet you betrayed us.
You are the first leader I know that blatantly betrayed his team. Even Nishioka is better than you. No wonder your team’s turn over rate is high. No wonder your previous “babu” dont last long under you. They must be feeling like shit.
Your team are supposed to aspiringly look up to you. You are supposed to guide them, set an example, give proper instruction, introduce them to all the good and bad sides, give them a compass.
You are supposed to give them a compass God damn it!
Instead, you are hiding behind your title, looking down on us from your high horse, judging us on every mistake that you never guide us to avoid. Remember all those things you ask us without giving any example? We all but you seem to remember. How can you forget about your own words? Imagine how efficient our work will be in navigating new realms if all the good and bad sides are laid out from the start.
It is ridiculous how most of our questions are fired back on us. All questions lead to condescending look, even if it is just a confirmation. Does it hurt for you to answer? You came from ITB, where “all questions must find an answer”, yet you have disgraced our almamater. What a waste that you never learn how to lead in there. ITB is the holly grail of organization, leadership, reformation, and revolution. Didn’t you learn anything? Oh right, you were kupu-kupu that hated going there and had bad grade because you thought you “misfit”
Do you even know what a leader does? They network, collaborate, and COORDINATE. I cant comprehend that time when you ask me to push the sales team to change THEIR project design. I am not their leader? They are not my team? Not even the same department? I’m just a staff, the lowest in the corporate leader. Aren’t YOU the LEADER? Did you just neglect your own duty to coordinate across department?
Oh yeah I dare to talk back now. Believe me, I have been holding a lot of myself back. I am quenching my fist every time I talk to you. I am the type that will rise and challenge an oppressor, especially if he is as oblivious as you.
My last straw was your judgemental nature. It was my fault to be open to you from the start. I told you everything that I went through, as if I have a lot of problems with cross department. I did have ONLY one, but now I dont. I FIXED it. You were there. My coworker was there to see my and his collaboration. Yet you are the only one that doesn’t see how good it became.
With this assumption, you choose to neglect the totality of information. You selectively hear what you want to hear, which is that “this person can not work with other departments”. You even managed to turn my innocent feeling of “sungkan” to ask for help, as a weapon against me. It is amazing how you twist it as a narrative where I am “sungkan” because I don't have good relationship with other departments.
Bro, do you even live in the same society?
IT IS NORMAL to feel sungkan in asking for help from others.
You are supposed to support me by saying, “You don't have to be ‘sungkan’, we work for the same purpose”. That is the LEAST a leader can do. Yet you point your finger at me, judging how anti-social I am.
You are not a leader.
Not to mention other annoying things such as dictating my Individual Development Plan that was supposed to be FROM me and FOR me, asking to do useless thing (e.g. **vin Lok**** slides), etc.
No amount of accomplishment can satisfy you. You used to push me to push, again, the sales team to invite participants for a seminar. I did, I blasted the information. Was it my fault that the registrants were only a few? Frustated, I then invited the participants myself. Do you remember how it turned out? MORE THAN 200 participants every time I make a seminar. I found a more effective way to do it. You just dont want to admit it. No other member of your team can do it.
Oh I love every time I prove you wrong. Remember a project with that lab I initiated? You said that you were “realistic” (with pessimistic note) about it. Of course with that condescending look to MY initiative. Do you remember what happened after the first meeting? IT WAS PROMISING! Now you will have to deal with it long after I’m gone. That is my legacy, bitch!
We are nothing but a work horse to you. You don't give a shit about us. All of your “babu” are burnt out. Out of three, 2 have gone to a psychologist, the last 1 is barely holding on. It might not be all because of you, but thanks to your trigger, we finally decided to ask for expert opinion.
If this is your goal, then congrats! You've made it.
You really like to share how you are “people’s favourite”. You brag about how popular and accepted you are. God you’re so blind … Dont you know? 3/4 OF THE PEOPLE IN THE SAME DIVISION DONT LIKE YOU. Should I name them? I*** (resigned), ****tra (resigned), W**** (resigned), La*****, Fi****, **vin, Sa****, and me. La***** and I didn’t even want to sit beside you in a movie theatre. We avoid you like a disease. EVEN YOUR TEAM (Fi**** and **vin) RECOGNIZE ME AS THEIR “KEPALA DEWAN/SERIKAT”.
That’s how you win people, through respect.
As much as this text seems to hate you (It does). I still feel sorry for you. You are just a nobody, not even an official manager with any right to rule over a team. Maybe you feel insecure and want to prove yourself, thus heartlessly pushing us around. The first time I saw you, I had this hunch that your were fake. You were the misfit in ITB, you were a loser. You never had a date in ITB, do you know how easy it was for me?
Your eyes were pathetically asking for validation. Your persona was insincere. I had a bad feeling, and I should have followed it. It kinda reminds me of Honda.
In my honest opinion, you suck. You have no side of you that nurtures. I will feel sorry for your kid if you ever have one. I’m glad that God (if exists) never gave you any.
I suppose you did have something I can learn from. I have been in this tornado of trying to re-establish my identity. The identity I lost after graduating because I didn’t know what I wanted. You opened my eyes to several things:
- No amount of money can buy my dignity.
- This job, licking doctors footprints is not for me.
- I cant work under asshole.
- I should have been more grateful in my previous job, and in life in general.
- I am a better leader than you are.
It is true that people don’t quit job, they quit boss.
I will quit soon.
